6. Mother’s Day Special: How to Cope When Mother’s Day is Hard

One in eight women experiences difficulty getting pregnant. Mother’s Day can be a tough day for a number of women. They go through a number of human emotions that could be quite hard to deal with especially on a day when a Mother & Daughter bond is celebrated everywhere. 

Join me in this episode where I interview two amazing women - Angela McNally and Lesley Eastmond - who’ll help us with ways on how to cope with their fertility journey.

•   [5:19] Make sure to set your own boundaries on Mother’s Day to find ways to lift yourself up. Being careful of what media you intake that day is so important.
•   [7:57] It’s not that we’re not happy for other people. We would never wish what we’re experiencing on others. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and that we’re not comparing ourselves. That’s the human experience.
•   [8:42] Everything is amplified. You’re going to be experiencing those same emotions. 
•   [8:52] If you’ve experienced loss, like myself, we like to honor our soul babies, the babies that are no longer with us. 
•   [9:05] Everyone has their own way of attaching to those souls and babies.
•   [9:21] The soul is the same soul coming back again, pushing where you’re meant to be.
•   [9:33] There are a lot of different beliefs. 
•   [10:21] If you haven't been able to get pregnant, know that your baby is on the way and connect with it. Whatever you believe this baby to be. 
•   [11:02] Don’t compare yourself. Watch the media. Celebrate it, honor it in your own way.
•   [14:55] Every situation is so different. One woman might need all the support, and checking in. Another might need privacy and boundaries and to mourn her situation on her own.
•   [15:16] Asking them how you can support them is the best way. 
•   [16:18] Communicating with “how can I show up for you” would be a million-dollar question. 
•   [16:36] Rather than simply assuming you know what that person wants, simply just ask them, “what do you need?” “I’m here for you” and “I’m thinking of you”. It’s a nice gentle nudge. 
•   [17:43] If you have a friend who’s special enough and asks you what you need, gives you space to mourn, and be there like a brick of love. Hold them so close. They are so few. Appreciate people who show up for you like that.
•   [18:28] There are so many layers to this.
•   [21:02] Fertility can affect your relationship. Not everybody has a beautiful communicative relationship.
•   [22:36] Make this your step one. Share how you’re feeling and ask your partner how you’re feeling.
•   [24:11] Those conversations and that vulnerability, brings us even closer. Because we’re the only two people in this situation that really get it.

Part 2: Lesley Eastmond

•   [32:31] Building a support community. It’s one of the reasons why I created a group. I knew I wasn’t the only one dealing with this.
•   [33:05] Talk to someone who’s unbiased. Be gentle with yourself.
•   [36:19] People just acknowledging that I am a mother, helps. It’s a painful reminder but just acknowledging that I, too, am a mother.
•   [37:06] Even if you don’t feel it, just still say it. The words that we use, the language that we use, are incredibly important.
•   [37:25] Your mind hears everything you say. Your body reacts to that as well.
•   [37:31] The most painful thing is somebody to go through the day without being acknowledged. Or make them feel like they’re forgotten or that their journey was forgotten.
•   [38:50] Your partner is probably dealing with their own grief... Having that communication, that conversation does a lot. 
•   [39:27] It is a painful reminder for partners as well. Oftentimes, men get left behind.  
•   [41:45] Once there’s life, there’s hope. That’s what gets me through it.

Part 3: Tips from Trudy Stone

•   [43:58] Practice self-compassion.
•   [46:33] Power of Words and the power of writing things down: 
•   [46:38] Reach out to others that may be feeling the same way you’re feeling.
•   [47:18] Don’t isolate yourself.  There’s great comfort with connecting with someone.
•   [47:24] Find your tribe… Lean on each other for support. 
•   [48:13] Honor the sorrow, sadness, and loss.
•   [48:55] Expressing your feelings is a way of honoring yourself and the experiences that lead to that sorrow. 
•   [49:25] Make a commitment to yourself and the person that you lost, that you will take positive steps to recover and live the best life that you can.
•   [49:36] Acknowledge your feelings.

Links

•   Angela McNally Website
•   Angela McNally’s Podcast 
•   I am My Sister’s Keeper (Facebook Group)
•   Expressive Writing Workshop 
•   Dr. Stacy Thomas Website

 

•   Trudy Stone Website
•   Trudy Stone Facebook
•   Trudy Stone Pinterest
•   Trudy Stone Instagram
•   Trudy Stone Twitter
• What type of dieter are you? Take the quiz! → trudyestone.com/quiz